the FOUR VIRTUES
P r a i s e f o r To b i n H a r t ’ s
“This luminous book reflects the highest state of
ealized humanity. To read it is to be guided forward into
discovering the basis for our finest selves. Rarely has there been a
ook of such exquisite wisdom, such potent truth about the
nature and practice of virtue. (I will send it to all
my friends who are in political office!)”
—Jean Houston, author of The Wizard of Us
“We seem to be at a point in human history when mystical
unitive understanding, which was once the esoteric experience
of a few, is becoming present in a growing number of people.
There is a new awakening to the potential of spiritual growth
and the flowering of human society that it can
ing. In this
eautifully written book, Tobin Hart illuminates that path,
skillfully applying his scholarship, experience, and insights
to provide a vivid roadmap for the spiritual seeker.”
—Peter Laurence, EdD,
director of Education as Transformation Project
at Wellesley College
“A work of wide learning and deep reflection, The Four Virtues
eloquently teaches what is most important to learn:
the art of living a meaningful life.”
—Pir Zia Inayat-Khan, PhD, spiritual leader of
Sufi Order International and author of Aracen Chivalry
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“This is a gem of a book. Drawing on his own rich life
experiences, neuroscience, and ancient wisdom traditions,
Tobin Hart explores how we can cultivate capacities that allow us
to be deeply connected to ourselves, to each other, and to the world.
And he offers practical ways to continue to both assess
and nurture these capacities in ourselves.”
—Pamela Seigle, PhD, executive director of
Courage & Renewal Northeast
“In this remarkable book, Tobin Hart applies ancient wisdom to
the information age. Not only has he given his readers a psycho-
spiritual matrix for internal growth but has also provided a
oad-map for finding their way through an external world of
increasing complexity. At the very least, The Four Virtues is a
fascinating document; at the very most it will change the lives of
many of those who read it and practice its exercises.”
—Stanley Krippner, PhD,
coauthor of Personal Mythology
“With this book, Tobin Hart is doing something audacious:
offering us a guide to our deepest, most meaningful life while,
in his writing, embodying the virtues he identifies as key.
For example, he writes beautifully about the Beautiful, offers
truth about the True, is wise about Wisdom, and
ings to
the project a wide range of perspectives—from neuroscience
to the world’s great prophets, interspersed with his own personal
stories and sagacity. This is a book to be savored.
I’ll be reading sections of it over and over.”
—Richard Schwartz, PhD, president of the
Center for Self Leadership and developer of
the Internal Family Systems model of psychotherapy
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“Into this historic time of excessive change, fragmentation, speed,
and deep spiritual hunger, Tobin Hart meets us and invites us to
come through the thicket and stop—to see who we are and where
we are now as a human species. He leads us on a simple footpath
to a summit where he shares his vision of transformation out of a
lifetime of experience as teacher and healer. Step by step, he then
guides us into a clearing where he tells us stories that interweave
insight and wisdom from sources Eastern and Western, psychologi-
cal and spiritual, scientific and religious, ancient and modern, along
with practical ways for tapping into the cu
ent of our own deepest
inner natures where we may find a new way. This remarkable book
is a treasured gift for teachers, therapists, counselors,
and all those who wish to grow the soul.”
—Carolyn Toben, author of Recovering a Sense of the Sacred
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4Virt_interior_pgs_i–32.indd 4 11/21/13 11:38 AM
the
FOUR
VIRTUES
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4Virt_interior_pgs_i–32.indd 6 11/21/13 11:38 AM
the
FOUR
VIRTUES
P r e s e n c e
H e a r t
W i s d o m
C r e a t i o n
Tob in Har t , PhD
ATR IA PA P E R B A C K
New York London Toronto Sydney New Delhi Hillsboro, Oregon
4Virt_interior_pgs_i–32.indd 7 11/21/13 11:38 AM
A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc XXXXXXXXXXN.W. Cornell Road, Suite 500
1230 Avenue of the Americas Hillsboro, Oregon XXXXXXXXXX
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Copyright © 2014 by Tobin Hart
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any
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uary 2014
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Manufactured in the United States of America
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Li
ary of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Date:
Hart, Tobin.
The four virtues : presence, heart, wisdom, creation / Tobin Hart, PhD. — First Atria
pape
ack/Beyond Words trade pape
ack edition.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references.
1. Spirituality. 2. Spiritual life. 3. Virtues. I. Title.
BL624.H XXXXXXXXXX
179 .́9—dc23
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ISBN XXXXXXXXXX
ISBN XXXXXXXXXXebook)
The corporate mission of Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.: Inspire to Integrity
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ix
Preface xiii
Introduction xxi
Part I: Presence
1. The Beautiful 3
2. Sensing 15
3. Focusing 33
4. Witnessing 47
5. Opening 61
Part II: Heart
6. The Good 81
7. Compassion 93
8. Empathizing 109
9. Feeling 127
10. Connecting 145
Part III: Wisdom
11. The True 165
12. Possibility 177
13. Guidance 193
14. Clarifying 207
15. Discerning 225
Contents
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Part IV: Creation
16. Voice 245
17. Will and Willingness 255
18. Originality 273
19. Imagining 291
20. Calling 307
Last Words 325
Acknowledgments 329
Index: Quizzes and Practices 331
Notes 333
Contentsx
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For Maia and Haley
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4Virt_interior_pgs_i–32.indd XXXXXXXXXX/21/13 11:38 AM
xiii
Finally, I had just finished college. It had taken me four schools, but it was now done. Having made it through all those years
from kindergarten on, I was presumably ready for the world. After
all, that’s what schooling is for: preparation for life. I thought,
“I should know my way by now.” I had packed up my stuff and
taken it to my retired father’s empty house, as he was spending the
winter someplace warmer. The previous spring we had spread my
mother’s ashes at the beach after her long bout with cancer.
There I was, alone in this house, with no clue of what to
do next. There was really no extraordinary tragedy I had suf-
fered, no heroic act I could rest on. There was no military draft
threatening to take me to a far-off land, and I was not really tied
to anything, anyone, or anywhere. I had all the advantage and
freedom that anyone should have. I had a fresh degree in hand,
and yet I felt more lost than ever. I suppose the pain I felt was an
PREFacE
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Prefacexiv
amalgam of the grief, anxiety, and despair that seemed to have
een building up inside me for as long as I could remember, and
it had now materialized into a heavy boulder of a thing that felt
like it was crushing me.
One afternoon a strange impulse welled up in me, not to go
on some great journey or enlist in some noble or at least risky
campaign but the overwhelming urge to repot houseplants.
I don’t think that I had ever watered a houseplant before, much
less repotted them. Nevertheless, I found myself spontaneously
doting over these green bits of life, carefully separating the small
aby shoots from their parent plants into separate pots. With its
tether cut and in its own pot, each shoot now had a new life. In
the mornings, when the cold March air had warmed just enough,
I would take them out for a stroll, placing them carefully in the
sun on the front porch. Later in the day, as the sun and tempera-
ture fell, I would be sure to drop whatever I was doing wherever
I was and
ing them back inside to safety.
In the midst of my dark night, some green life called to me to
nurture and be nurtured in this simple act. Something was mov-
ing. But the pain was not moving away; in fact, it only seemed