Industry Sector Analysis_135740
y Hirwa Siddharth Darji
Submission date: 21-Dec XXXXXXXXXX:09PM (UTC+1100)
Submission ID: XXXXXXXXXX
File name: 12058_Hirwa_Siddharth_Darji_Industry_Sector_Analysis_135740_233387_ XXXXXXXXXXdocx (26.9K)
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Citation Needed
2
3
Citation Needed
In what way? Give
examples
Good observation, although your writing style is difficult to follow and
interpret
4
5
Citation Needed
Citation Needed
How is treating (eg) obesity and ethical challenge? Ethical issues include 'do no harm'
etc.
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Industry Sector Analysis_135740
ORIGINALITY REPORT
PRIMARY SOURCES
Submitted to American University of Beirut
Student Pape
Submitted to Kaplan Professional
Student Pape
parlinfo.aph.gov.au
Internet Source
FINAL GRADE
41/100
Industry Sector Analysis_135740
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructo
There are some interesting and relevant observations
made throughout your report Hirwa, but it does not flow
from section to section and can be quite difficult to read
in parts.
Some of your observations are also a little vague, such
as your discussion on ethics
Also consider using some of the planning tools we
discussed in class to better frame your analysis and
guide the reade
See comments below
Shane
Presents and applies appropriate
tools for the identification and
analysis of environmental factors
You have provide some insights into the
public health system, but you have not
used any to the planning tools we have
covered in class (PESTEL, SWOT etc).
Identifies environmental factors
influencing operating conditions
Some good discussion regarding some
of the environmental factors (eg. political
influence, lack of coordination of funders
leading to poor indigenous health
planning etc.). This section could be
greatly expanded
Analyses industry trends, identifying
challenges and weaknesses
confronting organisations within the
chosen segment.
You have touched
iefly on a few
trends, but your analysis in quite weak.
What are some of the various
stakeholder perspectives?
What is the role of government? How
can quality of service be improved?
Presents a clear overview of the
industry segment, including the
usiness models of competitive
players
Again, you have touched
iefly on some
of the issues within public health but
have failed to adequality analyse the
competitive landscape, including key
players. Who are some of the key
organisations? What strategies do they
use in such a competitive environment?
You could expand this section
considerably
Discusses ethical issues
Your understanding and analysis of
ethical issues appears to be somewhat
confused. There are many ethical
issues within the public health sector,
such as delivering safe and affordable
care to all, making services accessible,
doing no harm to patients, ensuring
confidentiality etc. etc.
The analysis clearly and logically
presented and report format meeting
usiness standards
Although your report contains most of
the key sections required in a business
eport, it does not easily flow and can be
quite difficult to understand in parts.
Also consider using graphs and tables to
support your analysis
Appropriate theory and research used
QM
You have clearly undertaken a
easonable level of research for this
eport.
Co
ect academic writing style used,
including spelling, gramma
and punctuation
You need to be more succinct and direct
in your language and use plain English.
In-text referencing and reference list
follows Harvard style and consistent
with KBS guideline
Refencing ok
In-text citations and referencing
Make sure you provide references for all
facts & figures and observations made.
You also have a very high similarity to
another paper previously submitted,
which is VERY close to plagiarism.
PAGE 1
PAGE 2
PAGE 3
Comment 1
This is a very odd opening sentence. I don't know what you are trying to say?
Citation Needed
Cite Source:
Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles:
http:
www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html
Additional Comment
According to who?
Comment 2
what does this mean?
QM
QM
QM
what does this mean?
Comment 3
this is another very confusing section. I am not sure what your main point is?
PAGE 4
Citation Needed
Cite Source:
Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles:
http:
www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html
Text Comment. In what way? Give examples
Text Comment. Good observation, although your writing style is difficult to follow and interpret
Comment 4
very good observation,
PAGE 5
Comment 5
do you mean 'comprehensive'?
Citation Needed
Cite Source:
Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles:
http:
www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html
Citation Needed
Cite Source:
Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles:
http:
www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html
PAGE 6
Text Comment. How is treating (eg) obesity and ethical challenge? Ethical issues include 'do
no harm' etc.
Strikethrough.
PAGE 7
PAGE 8
RUBRIC: 6TH-8TH SCIENCE ARGUMENT (CER)
CLAIM
ADVANCED
PROFICIENT
DEVELOPING
EMERGING
EVIDENCE
ADVANCED
PROFICIENT
DEVELOPING
EMERGING
REASONING
ADVANCED
Take an arguable position on the scientific topic and develop the essay around that stance.
The essay introduces a precise, qualitative and/or quantitative claim based on the
scientific topic or text(s), regarding the relationship between dependent and independent
variables. The essay develops the claim and counterclaim fairly, distinguishing the claim
from alternate or opposing claims.
The essay introduces a clear, qualitative and/or quantitative claim based on the scientific
topic or text(s), regarding the relationship between dependent and independent variables.
The essay effectively acknowledges and distinguishes the claim from alternate o
opposing claims.
The essay attempts to introduce a qualitative and/or quantitative claim, based on the
scientific topic or text(s), but it may be somewhat unclear or not maintained throughout the
essay. The essay may not clearly acknowledge or distinguish the claim from alternate o
opposing claims.
The essay does not clearly make a claim based on the scientific topic or text(s), or the
claim is overly simplistic or vague. The essay does not acknowledge or distinguish
counterclaims.
Include relevant facts, definitions, and examples to back up the claim.
The essay supplies sufficient relevant, accurate qualitative and/or quantitative data and
evidence related to the scientific topic or text(s) to support its claim and counterclaim.
The essay supplies relevant, accurate qualitative and/or quantitative data and evidence
elated to the scientific topic or text(s) to support its claim and counterclaim.
The essay supplies some qualitative and/or quantitative data and evidence, but it may not
e closely related to the scientific topic or text(s), or the support that is offered relies
mostly on summary of the source(s), thereby not effectively supporting the essay's claim
and counterclaim.
The essay supplies very little or no data and evidence to support its claim and
counterclaim, or the evidence that is provided is not clear or relevant.
Explain how or why each piece of evidence supports the claim.
The essay effectively applies scientific ideas and principles in order to explain how or why
the cited evidence supports the claim. The essay demonstrates consistently logical
easoning and understanding of the scientific topic and/or text(s). The essay's
explanations anticipate the audience's knowledge level and concerns about this scientific
topic.
PROFICIENT
DEVELOPING
EMERGING
FOCUS
ADVANCED
PROFICIENT
DEVELOPING
EMERGING
ORGANIZATION
ADVANCED
PROFICIENT
DEVELOPING
EMERGING
The essay applies scientific reasoning in order to explain how or why the cited evidence
supports the claim. The essay demonstrates logical reasoning and understanding of the
scientific topic and/or text(s). The essay's explanations attempt to anticipate the
audience's knowledge level and concerns about this scientific topic.
The essay includes some reasoning and understanding of the scientific topic and/o
text(s), but it does not effectively apply scientific ideas or principles to explain how or why
the evidence supports the claim.
The essay does not demonstrate clear or relevant reasoning to support the claim or to
demonstrate an understanding of the scientific topic and/or text(s).
Focus your writing on the prompt and task.
The essay maintains strong focus on the purpose and task, using the whole essay to
support and develop the claim and counterclaims evenly while thoroughly addressing the
demands of the prompt.
The essay addresses the demands of the prompt and is mostly focused on the purpose
and task. The essay may not acknowledge the claim and counterclaims evenly
throughout.
The essay may not fully address the demands of the prompt or stay focused on the
purpose and task. The writing may stray significantly off topic at times, and introduce the
writer's bias occasionally, making it difficult to follow the central claim at times.
The essay does not maintain focus on purpose or task.
Organize your writing in a logical sequence.
The essay incorporates an organizational structure throughout that establishes clea
elationships among the claim(s), counterclaims, reasons, and evidence. Effective
transitional words and phrases are included to clarify the relationships between and
among ideas (i.e. claim and reasons, reasons and evidence, claim and counterclaim) in a
way that strengthens the argument. The essay includes an introduction and conclusion
that effectively follows from and supports the argument presented.
The essay incorporates an organizational structure with clear transitional words and
phrases that show the relationship between and among ideas. The essay includes a
progression of ideas from beginning to end, including an introduction and concluding
statement or section that follows from and supports the argument presented.
The essay uses a basic organizational structure and minimal transitional words and
phrases, though relationships between and among ideas are not consistently clear. The
essay moves from beginning to end; however, an introduction and/or conclusion may not
e clearly evident.
The essay does not have an organizational structure and may simply offer a series of
LANGUAGE
ADVANCED
PROFICIENT
DEVELOPING
EMERGING
ideas without any clear transitions or connections. An introduction and conclusion are not
evident.
Pay close attention to your tone, style, word choice, and sentence structure when writing.
The essay effectively establishes and maintains a formal style and objective tone and
incorporates language that anticipates the reader's knowledge level and concerns. The
essay consistently demonstrates a clear command of conventions, while also employing
discipline-specific word choices and varied sentence structure.
The essay generally establishes and maintains a formal style with few possible
exceptions and incorporates language that anticipates the reader's knowledge level and
concerns. The essay demonstrates a general command of conventions, while also
employing discipline-specific word choices and some variety in sentence structure.
The essay does not maintain a formal style consistently and incorporates language that
may not show an awareness of the reader's knowledge or concerns. The essay may
contain e
ors in conventions that interfere with meaning. Some attempts at discipline-
specific word choices are made, and sentence structure may not vary often.
The essay employs language that is inappropriate for the audience and is not formal in
style. The essay may contain pervasive e
ors in conventions that interfere with meaning,
word choice is not discipline-specific, and sentence structures are simplistic and unvaried.
Industry Sector Analysis_135740
by Hirwa Siddharth Darji
Industry Sector Analysis_135740
ORIGINALITY REPORT
PRIMARY SOURCES
Industry Sector Analysis_135740
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructo
RUBRIC: 6TH-8TH SCIENCE ARGUMENT (CER)
MBA622_T3_2020_Assessment_02_v01
Assessment Information
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